What Is Going On?
I ask myself this question far too many times. There is change in the air. At least that’s what they say. I felt it, briefly. With that sentence, I feel I may have lied to myself. The change has happened, so quickly, in fact, it took a few weeks to realize the shift.
Here are the changes:
You may have noticed the lack of words on a blog so cleverly named – Never A Loss For Words. Seems strange, doesn’t it? I’ve merely only posted pictures on the worst and best days, in my opinion, of the week. Not really any words related to that. I love the pictures and the smiles they bring to a readers face, but I have much more to say than the silence of art. I have been so mute that I let the pictures do the talking for me. It’s the change. The change where I sink into the depths of my mind, searching for things to say (or write), and while the words are there, my brain and fingers are too lazy to let them free. I’m changing. I do this often. Blame it on the intense introvert inside me or blame it on my life becoming so hectic that I haven’t the time or patience to do what I long – write.
This blog has been active for one year. It seems like forever. It is this change that I am and have, in some parts, warmed. I have took comfort in the arms of commitment. Before, I loathed any part of staying with something too long. It brought unease and uncertainty. Once comfort set in, I set out. (sorry about the preposition) However, here I am, embracing commitment like a child finding a lost dog. I took on a relationship, said I do, and have remained for almost 10 years. 6 months before that I welcomed a dog and stayed with him until we both knew it was time to depart. I started writing, (seriously), for 5 years and have maintained a blog for a year. These are big steps and changes that have taken place slowly. It’s like the child who sees the lost dog from a distance. Walking slowly, not sure if the dog is really his. The gut says yes, but the brain says beware – you don’t want to get your hopes up only to have them crushed. A few steps closer and instinct tells the brain it was wrong, as always and child and dog meet and the grasp is so strong that neither will stray again. This is the feeling I get with commitment. I’ve wanted to give up plenty of times. This blog has almost met the delete button, but I decide against it. My instinct tells my brain to keep one of outlets that lets my words free. Sure I have paper and pen, but those would remain hidden. I prefer to let my words be seen. Some are not the best, some were beyond my scope and I am still not sure I even wrote them. I wonder where such creativity comes from and ask myself two questions – What is going on? Why can’t this happen all the time?
So life is changing. I feel a little more grown-up everyday. 33 is creeping and life is good. I have stayed committed to college and will graduate in a year. I have run in a number of races. Some I did well at, some leave me wanting a do-over. Things in my life have ended, and some things have grown. This blog, once about writing, has grown into a blog about whatever I want. It’s quotes, pictures, cooking, trips, running, and thoughts that are put on the internet for many eyes to view. I am embracing the change, but will never forget where I started and how long it took to get me there. I hope I have learned from mistakes and embraced the losses, the gains, and the joys of life.
I dedicate this blogs one year anniversary to change. The changes of any situation, whether it’s fast or slow should be embraced. May you look at your life at any point and ask; what is going on? Oh yes, it’s change.
Because writing made this blog what it is today, here are a few entries that are loved by the few masses this blog has allured.
While I am biased and believe that almost all my writings are great, these were in the top 5. I hope you enjoy them as much as everybody else. Thank you so much, for making this blog what it is.