I posted a comment on Facebook recently. I am addicted so please don’t judge me. If they had a rehab, I wouldn’t go. So my comment was about how my phone was turning me into a moron which is sad because if you didn’t know, I am a freakin genius. Don’t laugh. Stop laughing. Can I continue? Someone commented that I should write a nice story about how our phones turn us into morons. I did. I made that comment. Please stop laughing. So I am going to talk about how I am suddenly a moron because of my phone which I believe to be more of a moron than me. Stop.
I have to type more than I would like. I write tons of research papers which is an exaggeration, but it feels like a lot. I open Word and get going on what I think is going to be the worst, I mean best paper ever, and I start expecting things. I should not expect shit because Word doesn’t predict what I am going to say next, nor does it correct my words, nor does it make some words into contractions – not that I can have contractions in an academic paper, but DAMN IT Word! Do something useful! So I have this paper with more red, green, and blue lines than I am used to and when I click the spell check button it takes longer to go through the editing process than it did to actually write the damn paper. By this time, I decide I need more wine and now this paper is taking longer than expected and perhaps I should go to rehab and they can address my wine problem along with my Facebook and phone addiction problems. I also realize I have a lot of problems and recognizing your problems is the first step to recovery so I really don’t need rehab, I can help my self.
Where was I? Oh yes. Thinking is for morons. That’s the title of this post and many of you may be thinking that the phrase sounds redundant or is that an oxymoron? What is an oxymoron? It is! I just had to look it up because I double guessed myself and that in turn made me into a moron. Is it irony that my title which describes thinking as a moronic ac,t is in itself an act that involves the word moron? Did you get that? It’s okay. Maybe you are reading this and you haven’t had enough coffee. Or you are reading this and are wondering what type of drugs I am taking and if you can have some. I’m sorry. I am fresh out.
My phone is conditioning me to expect everything to think for me. I do not type as well, I can not spell properly anymore. Easy words are harder to spell because my phone catches the easy stuff and spells it for me. I have concluded this. I spend way too much time on my phone. I need to write more either on the computer or the old-fashioned way – pen and paper. Also, I need to lay off the wine because this post looks like a crack addict took over the keyboard.
This has been your Thursday lesson. Get off the damn phone. Unless you are reading this blog post. Then by all means, stay on your phone.