I don’t like to give up very easily. Some may call it stubbornness. I suppose I am stubborn. There are some things I try to do full force and end up failing. In those times I won’t try again for a very long time. My example is writing. I do it when I like. I get going, things look great, I hit an obstacle, have no way to go around it, and I quit. A year or so later, I try again.
When it comes to exercise or completing something very physical engaging, my stubbornness really kicks in. I am not sure when it started, but I don’t like to be told I can’t do something. My first encounter, I suppose, came when a doctor told me I would never be able to run, ride a bike, or walk properly for the rest of my life. I was in a terrible car accident and broke my femur very close to my hip. I took a beating. I took a while to recover, almost a year. I was 12. When I was 13, I bought a bike and started riding. After a while, I started running. I joined track when I was either 14 or 15. I also started lifting weights. It was after I had to walk with a cane while I entered my freshman year of high school. Let me tell you how awesome that was – it wasn’t, but I don’t complain about it. I just move on.I joined the cross-country team and ran my first 5k. I still rode my bike nearly every day. Even though I was told I wouldn’t be able too, I did.
When I was 17, I was talked into joining the military. I was told I wouldn’t make it by almost everyone I knew. I went to M.E.P.S, (Military Entrance Processing Exam), and got my physical. They nearly disqualified me, but after an extended medical review and x-rays, they decided I was able to proceed. I went to basic, and excelled. I was moved up in rank twice before I graduated and moved to the next phase of military training, A.I.T, (Advanced Individual Training). I didn’t run a whole lot after this, unless there was a P.T. (physical training) test. I took up running again after a very long break. Running and even bike riding has given me a release in this life, like no other. Even writing couldn’t replace exercise, even though I have tried and will try again.
I moved to Colorado and the bug bit me and I knew I had to start running again. I did. First walking because the altitude is a rough beast to fight. Then, I started running. I entered into a 5k, a 10k, two half marathons, and finally a full marathon. The full really took a toll on me and as much as I love to run and my stubbornness seems to have no limits, a full kicked my ass and I think I will let it have this one. Stubbornness, mine, is still standing strong and I can feel the urge to run. It is like a need, an addiction that will never leave me. I can’t help but feed it and share this powerful drug with others so they can know how I feel.
I know I have mentioned that I am recuperating from knee injuries. They have really left me in funks. After I sulk, my will to keep going opens the dark curtains and says, “Hey, remember me? That’s right. I am still here, and I want to make an announcement. Get going. Burn this damn curtain and throw the ashes in the air. Let’s do the damn thing.” I like Will. She, yes Will is a she, always knows when to get me hyped up and speaks all the right words.
It may be a while, but I see myself crossing the race line once again. I never run to compete against others, I only run to compete against myself and to show others that even though life can suck, don’t ever let it tell you you can’t. Don’t let others tell you that you will never make it or you will never be able to accomplish your goals. If you want to make it happen, you will find a way. Your Will will show her or his face at the perfect time and you will know it is time to press on. Never lose your stubbornness.