I’m an opinionated person. I judge too quickly the likeliness of others. I make comments. I anger easily. I get offended easily. My feelings are walking on needles. I’m a fucking mess. But I know I am.
I try to fix my ways everyday. However, lately I’ve been off course. I am always angry or sad. If I’m happy, there’s a lingering feeling of hate or skepticism creeping to ruin the mood. I don’t remember the last time I was truly happy. I keep doing things in hopes it will make me happy, but I haven’t won that battle. I often wonder if I ever will. I’m patient. However, are others as patient as me? I can live with myself, but it is hard for others to wait on my fleeting emotions. I feel guilty for my short-comings.
I pause at these words. I can be a major bitch. I get over emotional. I make bad decisions. I try to justify my emotions, but they are false. To make an excuse for my feelings is not going toward the root of my problem. And readers… I feel that being unhappy and not being able to pin-point why, is a major problem.
I often think – instead of figuring out why, perhaps I should revisit the things that make me happy or did make me somewhat content and see what happens.
Until then, may my feelings go noted for some huge underlining problem that isn’t directed at anyone in particular. I’m just broken and no one can fix me but myself.
Thank you for reading.
just a drawing of how I feel.