Sometimes there is too much going on with my brain. I can’t shut it off. I have been in this mess for 34 years and I still cannot figure out exactly what to do. Perhaps there is a manual I missed. With that nonsense out of the way, let me reach into my pocket and dig out some more nonsense.
I have been thinking of what to write for days upon days. Anything I thought of was too droll, to political, too paranoid, too… everything. It was just too much. That is when my brain short-circuited and I shut down. I fell on my bed and was hoping that I would just turn off like C3PO. I did not. I woke up hoping to feel better, but sleep did not help. Sometimes life can really suck. I had another day of “too much” and I slept again, hoping I would be okay. Well, what do you know? (not a real question) I woke up, ran for an hour, and felt much better. That lasted for a while and I had to take a nap because there was just too much crap out of my control. I ask, when will this nonsense end? Hmm? Anyone?
Also, I need to complain.
1st – My ass hurts. Did I tell you about the time I fell down the stairs and cracked my tailbone and had to get 7 stitches from the glass I was carrying? Don’t make me retell the story. Anyway, I am sitting at the library because I moved into my new apartment which does not yet have the internet. The library has wood chairs. It’s not cool for tailbones. Also – I thought the library was supposed to be a quite place… Seriously, people shut the hell up. Take note of that and do it in the theater too. I’m sick of people’s crap, which leads me to number 2.
2nd – I can’t trust too many people anymore. I cannot trust them with my words, nor can I trust them with my things. For this, I am sad. I am sad for them because they lack respect for themselves enough to give it to others. I am angry with myself for keeping the ray of hope in my heart. I often use it for people that I think deserve it. More times than I would like to count, I am wrong about the people I hand my ray of hope to. I just want to say this – If I respect your stuff, please respect mine. This leads me to my next rant.
3rd – This world is going to shit. In times where the news is filled with horrific stories and other scare tactics to push me further away from society, I like to hug my dog. He is only aware of a few things: his bed, his food, his toys, his leash, my car keys, and my tone of voice, and also other dogs, especially his new girlfriend. I suppose that was more than a few things. Stop judging me. I often would like to take his mentality and be aware of only the necessitates. Maybe then would my brain not short-circuit. Maybe.
The moral of this story – I can only trust my dog and maybe three people. My dog will not run his mouth. He may, but good luck trying to understand him. My dog will not ruin my belongings. He will, but only because he doesn’t know any better. People are rude. My brain is on the fritz. I love to run (It is Trail Tuesday! Gotta train for the next marathon!).
Oh do I feel better. However, I have to leave this library – too much stuff going on and my tailbone hurts. Buy some damn cushions, fancy library!
Happy Tuesday, people. Happy Tuesday.