This piece came to me yesterday and I feel the need to share. Have a great read and a wonderful Saturday.
I have a character trait. I put high expectations onto people. It always seems to go wrong. I have such high hopes and I am always let down.
Once again, I am let down. I let it happen. I shouldn’t worry about others. They have their own agendas. It is so frustrating.
My character trait effects my well-being. I put my faith into people. I expect they will do great things. I hope they will never let me down. My hopes run so high that the mere thought of anyone ever letting me down never enters my mind, in that moment. If I sit and ponder on the realities, I am certain I will be let down. However, the faith, the hope, the expectations, whatever spin you put on it, is so great, that thought diminishes.
I have been this way for as long as I remember. Every time, when my bubble is popped, when that person fails me, I take it personally. I get very upset. I cry. I get angry. I lose all hope. It is always a devastating experience.
At the moment of this piece of writing, I am fighting the urge to lose it. I am trying to remain positive, and know that the universe has a plan, and if I look closely enough, I can follow the path without getting lost. It is a constant struggle. To put so much faith into one person is exhausting. I should stop, but I can’t. I may always have this character trait. However, perhaps I can learn to deal with the aftermath of all the let downs.
I wish I had the answers for this particular situation. Of course, if I did, I wouldn’t be writing this, trying to figure out life’s biggest dilemmas. I just want one person to keep my hopes high. I want one person to let me know they will never let me down, and never give up. It’s a lot to ask, especially when I may also let others down. The confusion runs deep with this issue.
The only thing I can do is take my own advice and listen, look, and learn from what the universe is offering. If I was let down, given up on, it was for a reason. The reason may not be clear, but I will try to never stop walking the path.
As I write that, I think of one thing, higher power, or person, whatever the case may be, that I can always rely upon. This thing or person, will never stray me. Perhaps it is the person I should release my dependence from and focus on the larger matter at hand.
Life is difficult. The everyday stressors can put a toll on the mind and body. When people let me down, it adds to the pile. When I freak out because of it, the pile continues to grow. If I can help myself, and release my attachment, I can lessen the pile and be free from any emotional toil. When I figure it all out, life and its big picture, I’ll let you know. Until then, I will continue to evolve and adapt.