It’s a sacrifice. The things we commit to. They drain our every being and we keep going, thinking it will all work out in the end – it will all be worth it. When it’s over, we are broken. Our spirits are damaged, possibly beyond repair. We give up the things we love. We put our dreams on hold.
It was foretold to me – one day I would have it all. The best job and my paychecks would take away all my troubles. They lied.
I gave up everything I wanted for them. I cut ties with priorities. I severed my relationships. I did it for them.
I look back on the things I lost and the things I demolished. It wasn’t worth the sacrifice, the drain, or the sanity I desperately need.
It will be over soon. The struggle still continues, but the finale is on its way.
I lost sight of what I really love – family, writing, and art. I would dabble in its pool from time to time, but I would never fully submerse. It saddens me.
I often feel I can have it all, but my one true flaw is not knowing how to juggle everything I want without losing bits and pieces of myself.
So the sacrifice continues, but at a lower speed. I am hoping to repair all the things I destroyed. I don’t have a plan – I rarely do, but I have a slight ounce of determination. It may be all I have. It is a struggle to maintain. It fights me with claws and fangs dripping with doubt.
I write this today not to dig for self-pity, but to release part of the burdens holding me down. This demon that wants to see me perish under my own right. I write this to purge the putrid in my veins. If I am lucky, I will stop smothering my flame and bring it much needed oxygen – for we all have something worth fighting.
We may not find it in the near future, but the future awaits for us to continue our journey.
Look on your life and ask yourself if the sacrifices are worth it. Truly take a personal inventory. If the cons outweigh the pros, take back your life. It is only one life and the time ticks away.