I’ve lost my way time and time again.
Searching through the ruble,
wiping the dust from my shins
I often find a clearing,
the light shines through
I start to climb to freedom,
hope fills the air
I reach for a boulder,
to make my last steps
It was an illusion.
It was never there.
I lose my grip on the vanishing air.
My feet slip below me
The darkness settles in
And now I’ve lost my way
time and time again.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted on a Monday. As anyone knows, Monday’s can often be cruel. We have weekend blues and wished that Monday was part of that weekend. What we have to do, but can seem impossible, is to find inspiration. I find myself looking through Instagram when I need a “mood pick me up.”
I look at dogs. I love dogs. I especially love my dog. He is patient, kind, and he loves people.
For a little inspiration this Monday, here are photos of my dog; two things this blog hasn’t seen in a while.
I haven’t posted a picture in a while and I feel it’s time. More often than not, Monday’s can be very depressing. At one point in my blogging career, I sought to make Monday a day for inspiration instead of a day where the thought of drowning yourself instead of work seemed more enjoyable. In light of a brighter Monday, I give you my dog. He always makes me smile even when he steals my socks and decides he wants to play a fun game of chase. Happy Monday and may inspiration find you.
I’ve been working a lot lately and focusing on some other venues. I wanted to take a moment to wish all my faithful followers a happy 4th of July. Be safe.
If you like fireworks, keep them away from your genitals.
Don’t make the statement “hold my beer – watch this”, before you do anything. It’s bound to lead to a quick hospital visit.
Last, but not least, keep your dogs safe. To most dogs, the end has come and life as they know it is over. They are certain they will never get another cookie or know the luxury of killing you slowly with their deadly gas. They love you and look to you for protection. Keep them safe.
Finally, for real this time, if you love your balls, don’t put an M-80 near your penis.
This has been your safety briefing.
On a positive note, my dog isn’t phased by fireworks, thank god. Here’s his lovely face.
As I look through old notes and wonder what I can scrape from the past to give it new life, I wonder if I’m doing too much. I wonder if I am spreading myself too thin. It is then, I think of self-sabotage. I do it constantly. If I continue down the shank spiral of self-sabotage, I will never succeed – ever. So I stop myself from searching, and reach inside myself for something new. I knew a piece about myself was hiding in here. A time where I self-reflect and project a little self-inventory.
If you do the same thing, self-sabotage, know you are not alone. The knowledge that I could be successful scares me into my sacred bubble. I dream of what it would be like to write full-time, and I am beyond excited. I grow a forest of ideas, and I let procrastination and excuse rule.
I’ve had enough. I know I can do it. I must rise from my slump and never care about critics, especially the biggest critic of all, myself.
So if you are sitting at your computer today or whatever means you use to write, and you are questioning the very reason you vent, stop. Your muse leaks in the form of words for a reason. Let others see your passion. Let yourself shine through.
Happy Monday, peeps, and keep pressing.
P.S – Speaking of pressing, I started another blog. I love horror. If you have been here a while and witnessed my writing, you know I have a heart for the sick and twisted. My blog is based around reviewing horror movies. I also post short films, artwork, and books I am reading. Stop by, if you’re sick and twisted like myself. I guarantee you’ll love it.
I can’t tell you if things will be okay.
I can’t tell you if the pain will go away.
I can’t foresee the light in the sky.
I can’t foresee the tears in your eyes.
I can’t change the world in a day.
I can’t change time or stop the decay.
If life is about constant regrowth,
I can’t tell you how much you’ll be worth.
I can give you spare amounts of hope.
I can give you advice to help cope.
I can give you thoughts to ease the pain.
I can give you shelter out of the rain.
If life is about constant regrowth,
Let me help you become more than worth.
Happy Inspirational Monday
Be free to help someone today. They may need it.
It has occurred to me that no matter how hard I try to seclude myself and withdraw from the world, I have found some friends who won’t let me. They call me and always ask how I am doing. They constantly leave the door open for me. Unfortunately, I often shut that door. I don’t really mean to, it just happens. I am somewhat of a recluse.
I want to take this Monday to find the inspiration needed to push any hermit out of its shell – friendship.
Don’t take for granted the friendships of others who constantly try to reach out and lend an ear. They love you. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t call. They wouldn’t let you know they are there anytime you need something. They are giving you something you can never repay. For me that one thing is shoulder to cry on. I have been going through some things and every day is harder than the next, but I seem to be getting through each day because my friends won’t give up.
It is with these words and this grateful attitude that they know, I would do the same for them in a heartbeat. I may never have the right words to say, or I may never be in the right mind-set to hear the words, but I am always there – just as you are always there for me.
So here is a tribute to all of my friends who have called me to ask if I am okay, who have given me a hug when I was sure I couldn’t receive it, and who never give up on me. Each of you have a special place in my heart.
Have a wonderful, inspirational Monday. May you find it in the ones you love.
It is often through tears I find the strength to write something profound. It doesn’t take any thought. It just takes the will to let the flow of words slowly trickle out of my finger tips. I often force the need to write. I put too much emphasis in the act. I find it hard to function, to muster a sentence. Writing isn’t complicated. It just is. Your creativity should be the guide – the muse, the leader. I block these attributes. I stop myself from letting the river take its own course. I am my own enemy. The fire that burns within me flickers in a storm that grows. The flame holds to a wick that is weak. The wind picks up speed and the rain starts to drown the only light I’ve ever known. The waves crash against the rocks and the noise deafen the words screaming to be free. I am the small boat, lost at sea, holding a candle that struggles to light the way. I risk it all only feeling my candle will cease and I will drown.
I often talk of the storm, the candle, the flame – all the metaphors that are my life. I don’t know of any other way to describe how I feel. The metaphors somehow let everyone know my inner struggle. My desire to become a person I try to hold back, a person I fear. She is vibrant, free, fearless, and successful in everything she attempts. There isn’t a word, an action, or a doubt that stops her. She would never silence her muse. She would fight to stay a float in a raging sea. The candle would never lose it’s flame.
Through these tears, she screams to be free. She is fighting to escape me.
How am I supposed to be myself if you decided who I was?
How do I know who I am?
Who is the person I see before me?
This mirror has been replaced.
It falsifies. It distorts. It bends. It stretches. It is deceit.
You have marked me. You have deposited my life.
I no longer know myself. Perhaps I never did.
I may never be cognizant of my being.
Labels cloud my judgement.
The fog of existence clogs my pores.
I need clarity before the poison seeps too deep.
I need free of the bonds that dominate me.
Happy Monday Peeps.
I hope your weekend went well. Enough with the formalities. I have something to say.
I have been revisiting a post written recently. I came back to it so much that I printed it out and decided I would hang it on my wall. In fact, I am going to go through all my posts and find all the inspirational things I have written and make some sort of wall thing. I’m sure Pinterest can guide me through the process.
The post I keep revisiting is here. I encourage you to read it. For some reason (even though I am quite certain I know the reason), I keep reading it. It gives me hope. It gives me courage. It gives me strength. I find inspiration in its words. Perhaps you will too. Enjoy your day and happy reading.