Losing My Way

I’ve lost my way time and time again.

Searching through the ruble,

wiping the dust from my shins

I often find a clearing,

the light shines through

I start to climb to freedom,

hope fills the air

I reach for a boulder,

to make my last steps

It was an illusion. 

It was never there.

I lose my grip on the vanishing air.

My feet slip below me

The darkness settles in

And now I’ve lost my way

time and time again.

The Fight Continues

A continuation of yesterday’s poem…
I know what I should do. 

But I can’t seem to do it. 

I sit down with hope. 

I can’t sift through it. 

Pencil meets paper. 

So thoughts can flow free.

But something is inside

Putting its grip on me.

I have more to give. 

There’s more to be told.

I must release this demon.

I must release the hold. 

The Last Day

It’s the last day and I’m not sure how to feel

It’s the last day and I’m not sure if it’s real. 

My thoughts are jumbled; they’re a pile on the floor. 

My heart is starting to scream from the pain. It can’t take much more

It’s the last day. I’ve hugged who I could. But one more would do me some good. 

It’s the last day to a brand new start, but I can’t stop my wrenching heart. 

I’ve bottled up my feelings for so long. To have them almost feels wrong. 

I feel very lost and confused. I feel worn out and used. 

I feel excitement and hopeful. I also feel scared and doubtful

When I’m not sure if I can take anymore, life pushes me onto the floor. 

It’s the last day and there are those I should thank. 

It’s the last day and I’m on an empty tank. 

I found friends I can never replace. 

Just because it’s the last day, it won’t be the last time I see your face
To everyone who has stepped up to help me smile, thank you. To those who have enriched my life with laughter and shelter, thank you. To those who have picked me up when I was certain I would give in, thank you. To those who have taught me that I have to be strong, thank you. To those who never stopped believing in me, thank you. To those who will be there for me no matter how stubborn or foolish I am, thank you. 

I could never express these feelings out loud. I was never one for words when my emotions are too thick for me to sort. I have only ever managed a thank you and a smile. 

My words, though minimal, are always real and full of sincerity. I love all of you. You have done more for me than I could ever imagine. I only hope I can return the favor. 

Thank you. 

Where one journey end, another begins.

Here’s to the next chapter. 

If I Could Only See

I’m going through some things so my work is really depressing, but it does help me feel a little better which is all that matters. I hope your Tuesday is going well and enjoy. 

My heart won’t let me be. 

It aches, it screams, it bleeds. 

I try to mend my woes. 

I piece together, I sow. 

Happiness is fleeting. 

Life’s only meaning. 

If only I could see

My heart beat is for me. 

Deep Scratches

Just a little poem to free the soul.

 

It is chaos; this world I inhabit. 

Holes, walls, and thorns leaving scratches.

I fall. I climb. I bleed. 

I never find what I feel I need. 

I’m trapped in a storm. I can’t breathe. 

Save me from the fear creating me. 

I will never find light. 

I feel I am losing this fight. 

Scratches are deep. The wounds wont heal. 

Thorns are encasing; forming a seal.

I weep. I scream. Silence cleanses me. 

The Struggle 

All who know me, know my mind is a dark place. The only true solace is my fingers on the keyboard. It is a sweet release. Poems and short stories seem the way to go for myself. I hope you enjoy. 

I look ahead,

I cannot see. 

I look behind,

I’m drowning. 

I see my soul,

Its darkness seeps. 

It oozes out, 

It cuts deep. 

I reach for life, 

I grab at death.

I open my eyes, 

Before my last breath. 

A Little Very Dry Humor

I don’t write everyday. I can’t always find something provocative to say. I can’t always find the words despite the title of this blog. Sometimes, I am at a loss. Today, I give you a poem. 

It’s short and sweet

Like a narrow street

It ends abrupt

…..

The end. 

Happy Tuesday! 

My dog doesn’t find this funny. 

Sadness

I search for written words in my note app frequently. Ever so often, I come across a piece that has me questioning the environment of my life at that time. I ponder my sanity. I wonder how, after reading my own words, I made it through. These thoughts are answered in one simple phrase – I wrote it down. For me, my only solace are the words I use to express my anguish. For if I did not have the knowledge of a properly placed word, I would not have a means to express my emotions. I would become trapped in my mind with no hope for escape. With this, I give you a poem written in a time of deep depression. I assure you I am no longer in the web of this poem, for now. 
When the sadness seeps in,

I cower with weak skin. 

(no flames, no spark)

My bones are heavy. 

My tears break levees. 

My body sinks in this bed. 

The covers claw at my head. 

The sadness sweeps over

Like a brisk autumn breeze

It sticks like a harsh winter freeze. 

I beg it to leave. 

It ignores my screams. 

I ask for help. 

(no one is here) 

The sadness keeps people away. 

My heroes kept at bay. 

(no one touches what’s sad) 

Sadness is what makes me. 

Sadness is what breaks me
Please know that if you ever feel like I have felt before and will feel again, there are people who will help you through it. You just have to let them in. 

All drawings are scetched by my own hand.

Time

Time is relevant,

So they say

Quickly it goes,

Quickly it stays

Passing slowly,

Passing through

Time for you,

Time against you

I’ll wait decades

I’ll wait minutes,

Each day passing,

Is hell without you in it.

I’ll see you here,

I’ll see you there.

You are everywhere

Time is a curse

Time is a blessing

Time is death

Time is life

Time is a dream

Time is a fiend

Please come back

I’ll do what it takes

Don’t leave me here

Don’t let my heart break

Time is relevant

So they say

Time will heal

Time steals pain

Time is not

What I thought it was

Keeping me addicted

Like a drug